The Loudest Scream
by TaxiCabtoNowhereland
Summary: Karkat has never been one for quiet. But will Kanaya and her calming silence change his mind?


**Author Notes:** I was pulled kicking and screaming into the glorious world of Homestuck and now here i am.

**Warnings:** I can't think of any off the top of my head. The story's a bit mushy, i wouldn't say fluffy but it is mushy.

**Characters Involved:** Karkat Vantas and Kanaya Maryam (Mentions of others)

**Disclaimer:** If i owned Homestuck everyone would still be alive and my ships would be SAILING! but i digress, Homestuck is not mine.

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><p>The silence is what i love most about her. I could never really put it into words but, I've never been accustomed to quiet.<p>

It was quiet for so long i just can't seem to stand it now. Something about a room full of more silence than people bothers me. Like the buzz of a fly you can hear nearby but can't actually find. It's a faint low vibration that just gets under my skin.

John says humans feel the same way. Silence is something we can't get accustomed too. Maybe it's a universal thing, i don't know, but the point is, that i hate silence.

If we're going to be technical here, silence isn't even silence.

You can hear your breathing.

your heartbeat

the blood coursing through your ears

and the longer the silence drags on, the more deafening it becomes. In its own way, silence is the loudest scream.

But her silence was different.

Her silence was a sunrise after the longest night.

She would never say a word. She'd come into my room, cover my mouth as i open it to speak, and sit.

Just sit. With her warm blanket, a cup of tea, and a nice book tucked under her arm. Most of the time, i just watch her. She reads and i lay my head in her lap and stare at the ceiling. Her nails comb through my hair almost as if she's untangling the cobwebs in my mind. I say nothing, it's tradition now. She reads and i wander further into the catacombs of my mind searching for reveries of days gone by and days that will never be.

With a turn of a page, i look up and she's smiling down at me. Painted green lips curled with a sweetness only she could muster and, at those moments, i can't help but smile back. It always feels foreign on my cheeks but she never says anything about it. She just looks back to her book and sips her tea.

And then the silence stretches on, like a rubber band being pulled at both ends. But it's never uncomfortable. With others, silence has weight. Silence is an obese man sitting on your chest, threatening to crush you. But with her, silence is just silence. It's a language we speak fluently.

Her silence is all i ever needed. And after she leaves, sound just doesn't sit right with me anymore. Every thud from above is like a club to my chest. Everyone's voices are suddenly so loud. Equius knocking the door off its hinges when he was only trying to open it. Vriska yelling at Tavros and Terezi playing judge and jury.

it's all so much noise.

Silence became an addiction and soon i found myself searching for my next fix daily. The thing i had spent so much time avoiding was now the only thing i wanted. I wanted moments where i didn't have to always speak. I wanted the moments where i didn't have to fill silence with a rant or screaming. I wanted moments where i didn't have to say a single word because she said everything in the turn of a page or the stretch of a smile.

Her silence was a stroll of the country side with cliffs overlooking the ocean and before i knew it, i'd taken a step too far and started falling as John called it. Straight out of the pale sky and into a sea of red.

But never once did i start drowning.

And now, here i am in my silence with her, comfortable, happy, and sinking peacefully to the bottom of my red sea.

"Kanaya?" Silence shattered and fragments of words ricocheted off the walls.

She looked down at me from her book. "Yes?"

"How do you know when you love someone?" It was questions like that that I felt comfortable asking her.

Green lips cast downward as she searched for an answer. A smile breached through the frown. She kissed my forehead. "When you can sit with someone in perfect silence and not feel like strangers."

I nodded along and she went back to her book. I don't think she understands how much words have an impact on people. A word, a sentence. Her words were nothing but whispers.

But to me, they screamed.

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><p>From pale to red, look how cute they are. I hope you enjoyed.<br>Cheers!

**TaxicabtoNowhereland**


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